Marriage Monday

 "For Christ's love compels us..." [2 Cor. 5:14] The Greek word Paul used is synechei, which carries the sense of God's love wrapping around you but then squeezing you in a way that pushes you out - like squeezing a tube of toothpaste. God's love surrounding you pushes you to become all you were made to be. ~Joel Malm, "Connecting the Dots"

The above quote may seem strange for a "Marriage Monday" post, but more and more, I'm convinced that marriage is a huge part of God's love that pushes us to become all we "were made to be". The unexpected things that pop up, the different personalities trying to work together, those things are the circumstances God uses to squeeze and push us to be more like Him.

Our "day 4" of 40 dates found us attempting to learn a little bit of history, but the Potts Inn museum we had hoped to enjoy was closed (despite the posted hours saying they were open!). 

We walked around and read the signs surrounding this beautiful old tavern on the Butterfield Overland Mail and stagecoach route. I hadn't realized this route wound around the Arkansas River (which makes sense to connect with steamboat traffic) and the ridges that dot this area, taking travellers through our home town.

Another sign informed readers about this knarled old tree and some of the things that have happened in America since it began to grow.

The outbuildings were fascinating, too, and we hope to go back again, but this time when the museum is open for tours :)

After we discovered the museum was closed, we drove just a few minutes to hike the short and sweet Caudle Overlook Trail along the Arkansas River.

With all the rain we've had recently, the streams were flowing quickly and little waterfalls abounded. 

And we worked up an appetite!

Kat Robinson's books featuring Arkansas food laced with history haven't steered us wrong yet. We stopped at the Blue Diamond Cafe on the way home to try their famous Monte Cristo.

That sandwich did not disappoint. It tasted like something straight out of the county fair, but loaded with ham and warm, gooey cheese. Magnificent.

Service was stellar, and when we ordered one dessert with two spoons, our waitress cut the brownie in two and gave us a generous scoop of ice cream drizzled with sea salt caramel. What a treat!

Sweet Sabbath

 One of the most faith-filled decisions we can make is to intentionally create margin in our lives....Choosing not to overload our finances, energy, and time is essentially an act of faith, saying, "I know there's so much good out there that I'm going to leave space for when it gets here."

~Joel Malm, "Keep It Light: The Freedom of Priorities in Life, Work, and Love"

The Conard family has been blessing our socks off since we met them in Memphis in 2004. Gayly has visited us in the village (and is still a good friend, quite the miracle after what we put her through!). The family has helped with kitchen renovations, stateside vehicles, family pictures, and gift cards to kickstart us after trans-Pacific moves. We love to cook together and celebrate birthdays (wives in May, husbands in October) together.

So when the unexpected opportunity arose for Sean to drop by and spend some time with us in the middle of his road trip, we were honored. The Sunday afternoon felt like an extension of our church service as we drank coffee and recounted God's faithfulness in our kids' lives. And when I followed the guys out the back door as they walked to the driveway, I found Sean praying for my hubby. Humility and generousity characterize this entire family. I'm so grateful for the margin we had built into a day of rest and for the refreshing visit that resulted.

Soup

When I checked out snow books, this little gem of a book showed up. "Everybody Serves Soup" checked all of the boxes. The author took my favorite topics, food and community, and wrapped them up into a snow filled story. (Our library doesn't have her other books, "Everybody Brings Noodles", "Everybody Bakes Bread", and "Everybody Cooks Rice", but I can't wait to read them, too!)

We're eating a lot of soups and stews these days. The Indian curried cauliflower and lentil soup is on repeat. White chicken chili is another favorite, and it's a great recipe to have available for our friends who have alpha-gal syndrome. One of my favorite things to do is to host people for chili and games (like Goat Lords), then serve both a red meat chili and the white chili with all the toppings.

Choate Chili

Adapted from the Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook

1/2 lb ground beef

1 cup chopped onion

1 cup chopped bell pepper

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 16 oz can of petite diced tomatoes

1 1/2 cups dark red kidney beans

6 oz tomato paste

6 oz water (just fill the tomato paste can)

1 Tbsp chili powder

1 tsp smoked paprika

1 tsp garlic salt

In a large saucepan, cook ground beef, onion, green pepper, and garlic till meat is brown. Stir in tomatoes, kidney beans, tomato paste, chili powder, basil, and garlic salt. Dump it all in a slow cooker, turn it on high for 3-4 hours.

Time with the Choates

A year ago, Aaron's dad passed away after a very long battle with brain cancer. Aaron and Katherine were in the Solomon Islands. 

Our time with the Choate side of the family held more laughter a year later. Katherine played her cello while the guys worked on puzzles and the ladies talked about Kat Robinson's food books. Katherine also noticed a picture of her grandfather when he was younger and realized just how much she favors him! There's just something special about watching each generation grow and blossom.

 

Treats

Yes, we've pulled out the few Valentine's Day decorations that we've kept over the years. We don't have many traditions for Valentine's Day, but I don't want it to slip away unnoticed because we no longer have small children in the house. I love having special mugs to use, and my recent favorite treat feels decadent in my coffee.

Adding the vanilla collagen peptides to my milk, then heating and frothing it, makes my coffee taste like a caramel latte. AND it helps strengthen my hair and nails, which are finally coming back strong after chemo!

 

Gumbo Time

One of my beef-producing-farmers-market-friends makes a fabulous, slightly spicy sausage. But only once a year. The temperature has to be just right, and the farmers need to have several days free to complete the process. So this special sausage deserves its own place in the deep freezer and in my meal plan. The weekend before Christmas, I got the text: "We're making the sausage this weekend, want some?" And I quickly replied, "Yes, please. Ten pounds!" We met in a parking lot where I handed her some cash, and she handed me a black plastic bag. We looked suspicious. But the results were delicious. Gumbo is one of the recipes that waits until I have this local beef sausage available. 

PSA: My taste buds still aren't back online after chemo, so most people want to add a little more spice to their bowl. I just add my old favorite, garlic salt :)

Chicken and Sausage Gumbo

Adapted from Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook

Serves 4

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup cooking oil (I use olive or avocado oil.)

1/2 cup chopped onion

1/2 cup chopped bell pepper

4 cloves garlic, minced

3 cups chicken broth, heated

8 ounces smoked sausage, cut into slices

1 1/2 cups sliced okra

2 bay leaves

5-6 oz chicken breast

For roux, in a large heavy saucepan, combine flour and oil till smooth. Cook over medium high heat for 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to medium. Cook and stir about 15 minutes more (mine never takes this long!) or till roux is dark reddish brown (matching the color of a penny).

Stir in onion, bell pepper, & garlic. Cook over medium heat for 3 to 5 minutes or till vegetables are just crisp tender, stirring often. Gradually stir in hot chicken broth, smoked sausage, okra and bay leaves. Add chicken. Bring to boiling, then reduce heat. Cover and simmer for 20-30 minutes. If desired, serve over rice.

 

More Snow

Although our snow has all melted, Katherine made a batch of lemon snowballs.

And our book baskets are still full of fun picture books, some old favorites mixed in with some new-to-us books.

This Place in the Snow by Rebecca Bond (such cheerful illustrations)

Snowed In by Barbara M. Lucas (set in 1915)

Snowed In With Grandmother Silk by Carol Fenner (a very short, sweet chapter book)

Houston had an unprecedented snowfall from Winter Storm Enzo, and we got a sweet picture from Hannah and Benjamin, who were soaking up every minute.

Marriage Monday

In Lamentations 3:22-23, the English word new is the Hebrew word hadas. It doesn't just mean again and again, as amazing as that would be. It's new as in different. It means never before experienced. Today's mercy is different from yesterday or the day before or the day before the before. Just as the seasonal flu vaccine changes from year to year, God's mercy changes from day to day. It's a new strain of mercy. ~Mark Batterson, "If"

Ten years ago, we were preparing for yet another trans-Pacific move. These pictures reflect our joy at spending some time in Sydney before we got on the plane bound for Dallas. We didn't know the outcome of Sarah's impending doctor's appointments, and we certainly had no idea that I was about to come down with Zica. But we did have a mentor couple in our branch, the Gebauers, who encouraged us as individuals and as a couple. They are also dear friends and have folded us into their large family.

In college, the Lord provided a similar couple, the McBrides, who were just ahead of us on life's journey. For the last thirty years, they have offered listening ears and a shoulder to cry on. They've also given us lots of adopted kids and grandkids to enjoy.

We don't always have mentor couples nearby, honestly building community still challenges us as we adjust to living in America more. When we returned to Arkansas to drop Olivia off for college, we obviously didn't anticipate a cancer diagnosis and the challenges it would bring. Or that four years later we would still be living in our hometown instead of in the Solomon Islands. Technology offers some fabulous marriage resources like the Gottman Institute and Family Life. But God's mercies are still new, changing to meet what we need in this season of our marriage, bringing the people and resources we need to thrive now.

Sweet Sabbath Rest

"Like the Shabbat celebrated by Christ, hyggelig rest is intentional and is designed to encourage you to stop holding your breath. It's an exhale, a release without which you'd have no room left in your life to receive. This simple posture of rest is deliberate surrender. It's a discipline and an act of humility." 

~Jamie Erickson, "Holy Hygge: Creating a Place for People to Gather and the Gospel to Grow"

Ouch. I needed the reminder that Sabbath rest is deliberate surrender and an act of humility. I'm not good at either one of those things, which is why intentional rest is a discipline.

Day 3 of 40 - Wedding Day

 

Rae and Sam's wedding reflected much intentional planning on. They took time to choose meaningful songs of worship, to take pictures with each table at their reception, and to hand out plates of brownies instead of a traditional receiving line. I can't wait to observe the impact this couple will certainly make on their community.

Spending the 3rd day of our 40 day celebration playing our cellos together seemed fitting, considering we met in middle school orchestra class. We have a heart for marriages to thrive and to share the things we have learned in our own journey of marriage.

Sarah called the Virginia Reel, and for the first time ever, I got on the dance floor. We joined a group of young couples, including the bride and groom, who knew what they were doing. Since I'm not light on my feet, I needed the extra support they provided :)

Everyone we talked to kept telling us what a joy and a blessing Sarah is to them. Every. Single. Person. And we totally agree.

After she called the square dancing, line dancing took over. Watching her exuberance and life was contagious. You just can't help but smile.

We finally returned to the hotel, full of good barbecue and laughter, knowing we had a long drive back home the next day. In addition to the many hours on the road, a cold front pushed us home. I'm not sorry to live south of the Mason-Dixon line. These single-digit temps made me extra thankful for our modern conveniences to help keep us warm!

Exceptional in the Ordinary Things

 "It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God, but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things" ~Oswald Chambers

Around here, the ordinary things look like Aaron working through his advisor check of Psalm 119.

Katherine taking a study break to snuggle with her beloved guinea pigs.

My regular visits to Grandma's little home on the lake bring me much joy, especially when she gets phone calls while I'm there. Knowing that other people are checking on her, listening to her tell stories about God's faithfulness, and watching her soak up the sunshine pouring through the south-facing windows...these are extraordinary gifts.

On the Road to Illinois in Which We Kick Off 40 Days

We kicked off our forty days of celebration with a quick trip to Illinois. Some of Sarah's friends (the ones that let me workout with them the weekend of her graduation) reached out to us early last year. They just needed a sounding board, and we were happy to listen and learn alongside them. Now they were getting married, and they asked us to play our cellos at the wedding. On our many road trips together, we've learned that Aaron can focus and work really well from the passenger's seat while I drive. So that's what we did :) I admit it was a wee bit strange not to have any kids doing school in the back seat. Katherine had a dress rehearsal and a concert with the youth orchestra, so she stayed home this time.

The first day on the road, we planned to stop and get something yummy from Futrell's Pharmacy and Soda Fountain, but when we got there we discovered that the soda fountain didn't have ice cream or milk. So we practiced our flexibility and kept walking around the cute town square (because I really needed to find a bathroom!). We did discover Timeless Books, with its old hardwood floors and book-related gifts. We also stumbled across Black River Beads and Pottery. I wished we could have spent more time and money there, the store had an old Kay cello that I tuned for them. The proprietor called another nearby shop for us to gain access to her facilities. Obviously Day 1 didn't go as planned! But on Day 2, I got started with a virtual 5K to join the wedding party. They planned a lunchtime 5K and invited me to join them, but I knew 1) we would be on the road and 2) I'm waaaaaay slower than they are. So the hotel treadmill and I had a sweaty morning date.

On the way to the wedding, we stopped in Springfield to visit Abraham Lincoln's home. We didn't have much time, and this visit only whetted my appetite to come back with our kids in tow. One of the fascinating things I learned connected with a book I recently read. "The Small and the Mighty" encouraged me to be faithful in the little things, and one of the people featured in the book was Julius Rosenwald. Rosenwald was one of the Sears and Roebuck owners, and he generously gave towards education and museums. Most notably, he established Rosenwald Schools throughout the South that were funded by his donations and matching community grants. The Tuskeegee Institute received much of Rosenwald's time and energy. My home state of Arkansas also benefitted from these schools. Maya Angelou, raised in a small Arkansas town, attended a Rosenwald School. Rosenwald grew up half a block from the Lincoln house, and his home is open to the public.

The wedding rehearsal was sweet, especially because Sarah was leading worship with us. In the middle of the wedding, the congregation would be singing three songs, and she was the beautiful voice they would follow as we supported her with guitar and cellos. What a treat to share this experience together!

 

The rehearsal dinner began with the meaningful liturgy from Every Moment Holy, "On the Eve of a Wedding". Words that I continue to pray for our not-so-shiny-and-new marrage:

May your love for one another overflow in blessing to all who have the joy of knowing you. May the world be better loved because of your passion for each other. May the flame of your love never wane, but burn ever fiercer across the years, that even in old age you would remain wellsprings of one another's delight. 

Active and Purposeful Waiting

"Qavah is a word filled with action and purpose....You could think of qavah as looking with hope in the tension of life....These passages [Ps. 27:13-14; Ps 40:1; Is 33:2; Is 40:31] help us to see that Biblical waiting is active and intentional, especially when life gets twisted and complicated. I don't know about you, but that's not how I've typically thought about waiting. It feels more like empty space. It seems to be entirely passive, something happening to me. Qavah helps us to see waiting as purposeful, even productive."  ~Mark Vroegop, "Waiting Isn't a Waste"

On a recent road trip, the hubby and I had many hours together to share our hearts and to talk about what God is doing in each of us as we wait. The entry in Strong's Dictionary is H6960: "probably originally twist, then of tension of enduring, waiting". That's exactly what we're feeling these days as we feel the tension of many things out of our control and seek wisdom to know where we should be exercising agency. In the midst of that twisting and pulling, sometimes gratitude can feel like panning for gold. I think I have learned to expect the waiting when we are overseas, but somehow, waiting on this side of the globe still surprises me.

While we actively wait, I notice God's provision all around me. Love letters written in the snow by my faithful husband.

A trustworthy repairman from Hudson Appliance. We are beginning to see him way too often, but we're thankful for his knowledge and willingness. And for our budget line for home repairs.

A beautiful wedding celebration. Fun fact: we've known Daniel, the groom, and his family for ten years, but one day in my lymphedema appointment, I realized my specialist, Sabrina, was dating Daniel. So many fun connections and a joy to come alongside these two as they begin their new life together. 

Pot Pies

This cold weather makes me crave hearty comfort foods like soup and pot pies. So I pulled out a little gem of a cookbook, Pot Pies by Beatrice Ojakangas, to try a new recipe. I still had a ton of cabbage from a local farmer and had recently picked up some mushrooms on the sale rack at the grocery store. Choosing the recipe was easy, because I had every single ingredient for the Russian Cabbage Pie.

Russian Cabbage Pie

Makes 6 servings

3 Tablespoons butter

1 medium onion, thinly sliced

1 small head green cabbage, trimmed and finely shredded (about 3 cups)

1 tsp dried basil

1 tsp dried marjoram

1 tsp dried tarragon

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper

1/2 lb fresh mushrooms. cleaned and sliced

1 recipe lemon pastry

3 oz cream cheese, at room temperature

4 hard cooked eggs, sliced

1 tsp dried dill

Lemon Pastry

2 cups all purpose flour

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) chilled unsalted butter, in half inch slices

1 egg, lightly beaten

2 tsp fresh lemon juice

4 to 5 tablespoons ice water

Stir the flour and salt together. Cut the butter into the flour until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. With a fork, stir the egg, lemon juice, and 2 tablespoons of the ice water together. Sprinkle the liquid over the flour mixture and mix just until the pastry holds together, adding more water if needed. Knead the dough in the bowl for 2 or 3 strokes - just until the dough makes a smooth ball. Cover and chill for 30 minutes or until firm. 

In a large, heavy skillet, melt 2 tablespoons of the butter. Add the onion and cabbage, and cook over medium-low heat, turning with a spatula until the cabbage is wilted, about 5 minutes. Sprinkle with the basil, marjoram, tarragon, salt, and pepper. Continue cooking another 10- to 15 minutes or until soft but not browned. Remove from the pan. Add the remaining butter to the skillet, then add the mushrooms and cook, stirring over medium heat, until the mushrooms are soft and the liquid has evaporated, 5 to 6 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Roll out two-thirds of the pastry and fit it into a 9-inch square (or round!) pan. Spread the pastry with the cream ccheese and top with the sliced eggs. Sprinkle with the dill. Top evenly with the cabbage, then top the cabbage with the mushrooms. Roll out the remaining pastry and fit it onto the top of the pie. Moisten and flute the edges to seal. Make a few short slashes for vents. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until the crust is golden brown. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Marriage Monday - 40 Years

 "When it comes to suffering, I not only anticipate the emotional state I will occupy, but I also assume that I will be alone in my distressing affect and will be powerless to change it. Understanding this mindset is crucial, because it reveals the degree to which, in our insecure attachment styles, we do not anticipate that anyone will be coming for us, to join us and coregulate us by enabling us to be seen, soothed, safe, and secure as we long for." 

~Curt Thompson, "The Deepest Place"

A high school orchestra party at my house

This year we celebrate 40 years of friendship, and we wanted to do something extra and special to commemorate God's faithfulness in building such a beautiful foundation for our marriage. Recently, we have been exploring attachment styles, and I am exceedingly grateful that we are learning to help each other be seen, soothed, safe, and secure (I first learned about these from the amazing Dan Siegel).

College choir tour in Europe

My creative hubby suggested forty days of celebrating sprinkled throughout the year to represent the forty years of friendship. We feel strongly that playing together keeps our relationship healthy and vibrant. Each of us has been doing some research for a variety of activities that cover different costs and distances and include history, food, art, and nature. One of my favorite resources so far is the Kat Robinson's series of books that combine history and food in Arkansas. Sometimes we'll even include our kids in the fun! Stay tuned, folks.