Day 5 of 40

"If you focus on how you were victimized, you brain will immediately shift into survival mode. You'll be on edge, constantly watching for threats to your security, connection, and sense of control. You'll eventually get angry, bitter, and resentful.... When you choose to see yourself as a willing participant in an adventure -- rather than a victim -- your brain chemistry actually begins to shift. Your mind goes into exploration and learning mode rather than fear.... You're willingly confronting what is ahead as an adventure." ~Joel Malm, Connecting the Dots

Thanks to Aaron's willingness to donate plasma, we were able to get away last weekend and put together a little marriage retreat. The last time we took a few days together, everything went so smoothly. This time, I had many opportunities to practice seeing myself as a "willing participant in an adventure". Our first stop was at Daily Grind Coffee, a creative combo of gym and coffee shop. Then things began to get challenging for me. It's no secret that my husband and I have very different personalities. No matter which personality test we take (and we like ALL of them!), we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. He can flex and thrive seemingly without any effort.

We took a chance on a cheaper Air BnB. Although it had a beautiful vintage silverplated iced tea spoon in the drawer which made me smile, that was the only thing that made me smile about our accommodations. The videos we chose to watch to enrich our time together? Meh. We were left with a bad taste in our mouths about those, too. We didn't sleep well, and it began to look like our time away together was going to be a big letdown. I had to work really hard to go into "exploration and learning mode" and fight disappointment. Because I like to make sure my environment supports flourishing, we always bring our own food to keep our bodies happy and a fan for white noise to encourage good sleep. But nothing was kicking my heart and mind into adventure and trust the Lord mode.

To be continued...

It's Still Cold Outside

As my next round of three-month checkups draws near, giving my body the best chance to recover from cancer treatments is on my mind. So is strengthening my body to fight in the future, since HER2+ is the most aggressive form of breast cancer.  

According to Native Path's website, good physical health is based on these five pillars:

1) Sleep 

2) Hydration

3) Sunshine

4) Movement

5) Nutrition

Katherine and I tackled this list when our town was snowed in and school was cancelled for several days. We walked to a new coffee shop, Secret Nook Coffee and Books. She did homework and I checked email while our toes thawed and we sipped hot coffee.

The sun was shining, but the wind stung our cheeks and made the cold temps feel even colder. But you know what helps make everything warm and cozy? Soup.

African Peanut Stew

Adapted from "The Oh She Glows Cookbook"

1 teaspoon avocado or coconut oil

1 medium sweet onion, diced

4 cloves garlic, minced

1 medium sweet potato, peeled and chopped into 1/2 pieces

1 28 oz can petite diced tomatoes, with their juices

salt and pepper

1/3 cup natural peanut butter

4 cups vegetable or chicken broth

1 1/2 tsp chili powder

1/4 tsp smoked paprika

1 15 oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed, or 1 1/2 cups cooked 

8 cups baby spinach

roasted peanuts for serving

1) In a large saucepan, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic and sauté for about 5 minutes, or until the onion is translucent.

2) Add the bell pepper, sweet potato, and tomatoes with their juices. Raise the heat to medium-high and simmer for 5 more minutes. Season the veggies with salt and pepper.

3) In a medium bowl, whisk together the peanut butter and 1 cup of the broth until no clumps remain. I find mixing them is easier if the broth is warm. Stir the mixture into the vegetables along with the remaining 3 cups of broth, chili powder, and smoked paprika.

4) Cover the pan with a lid and reduce the heat to medium-low. Simmer for 10 to 20 minutes or until the sweet potato is fork-tender.

5) Stir in the chickpeas and spinach and cook until the spinach is wilted. Season with salt and black pepper to taste.

6) Ladle the stew into bowls and garnish with roasted peanuts.

 

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

Last week our temps dropped to 25-30 below normal. Before the blast of artic air hit, I wanted to soak up as much sunshine as possible. One of my orchestra students was selling local coupons as a fundraiser for the baseball team, so I bought some. I've already saved more than the amount I spent just by my BOGO coffee purchases :) The combination of beautiful friends and hot coffee and trails with majestic herons creates a worthwhile way to spend an hour.

Though it's been cold outside, the tomato seedlings are beginning to sprout. The Blush Tiger variety won the prize for first plant to break through the soil!

Advisor Checking

Guess who made it through all 150 of the Psalms for the first swipe of the Lavukal translation advisor check?

 

Braids and Curls

"Stones, huts, bread, and boxes -- all these were outward displays of the inner life. They stood as both reminders and revelations of how the people of Israel were feeling their way toward and finding God. None of these practices added to their abundant life, the practice just recalled them to it and revealed their abundance to the world." ~Jamie Erickson, "Holy Hygge"

I love all of the tangible reminders of God's faithfulness found throughout the Old Testament. Currently, my biggest "outward display" of God's work in my life is my hair. The curls are slowly growing back, and every time I look in the mirror, I'm reminded of my community and how God provided them to buoy me through all of the hardships that cancer brought my way.

My hair is even getting long enough that Katherine wanted to braid it. My curls didn't cooperate like she had hoped, so I ended up with only partial braids, but that's a step in the right direction!

 

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Dad's birthday was a quiet affair this, unlike previous years. I was excited to have a big box of Arkansas Black apples given to us by a local farmer who was planning to feed them to the pigs until she heard that I would use them. Old apples still cook beautifully! So, apple crumble substituted for Dad's birthday cake, and it was perfect, delicious, and cozy for the unseasonably cold weather.

 

Marriage Monday

Yesterday, while Katherine was in rehearsal, we explored the Big Dam Bridge Trail and some of the connecting paths that create the Arkansas River Trail. Walking for an hour together is such a good way to reconnect with each other.

Revive Our Hearts recently posted a helpful article, "Five Ways to Sharpen Your Marriage". This ministry also offers challenges, like the Husband Encouragement Challenge, to help us make new habits and keep us accountable and encouraged. I need all of the helpful reminders I can get to be the kind of wife that I want to be for my amazing hubs. I'm grateful for the Holy Spirit's work in my heart and for the slow progress I can see in this area over the last thirty years.

Aaron has scheduled a trip back to the Solomon Islands and will be leaving in the coming weeks, so my words become even more important when email and notes that I hide in his luggage are the primary way I can communicate with him. We're getting calendars lined up and working on those checklists.

Planting Seeds

"We may plant the seed, but we can't control how quickly it breaks into a bud. We can't govern the timing of the rain. At some point, we have to lay down our tools and just wait for the hidden work of God. We have to rest and rely on Him, trusting that He'll grow a great harvest out of our few tiny seeds." ~Jamie Erickson, "Holy Hygge"

It's that time of year again. When the bulbs begin to break through the cold ground and I start the process of growing my summer garden (one small seed at a time!).

Every year when I plant seeds, I'm reminded that I'm not the one responsible for growth, and my faith is strengthened as I trust in the "hidden work of God". This truth quietly reveals itself in my trays of seeds. in the Lavukal Bible translation project, and and in my own journey.

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

 "For followers of Christ, the measuring stick of growth is becoming more like Him. Christ was the embodiment of love. When it comes to spiritual growth, age and experience don't necessarily equal maturity. Love is the primary measuring stick for spiritual maturity. So I tend to believe that evaluating whether a season was a success or failure can come down to one question: Did we become more loving?"

`Joel Malm, "Connecting the Dots"

Habits and Goals

We don't make New Year's resolutions around here, but throughout the year we do evaluate our goals and tweak them as needed.

I don't think it's a coincidence that I started listening to another Jon Acuff book, Finish, the same day Aaron sent me this video:

I'm a sucker for learning about what is going on inside our brains. Neuroscience is so fascinating! The personality that God gave each one of us influences how we make and complete goals. 16 Personalities has an abundance of information that applies to how different types of people respond to setting habits and goals, and the website also offers articles, free personality tests, and vocabulary for helping each of us understand ourselves and those around us better.

 

Valentine Buddy

My little buddy, Marin, is a pro baker. She knew exactly how to sprinkle the flour and handle the rolling pin. Together, we made dozens of heart-shaped masterpieces together this week.

 

Holy Spirit Hearing Aids

I've heard that line over and over and over from people. From people who are doing amazing things: "One thing led to another." I'd be willing to bet that as you look at your life, you'd say the same things about where you are today. So, here's a crazy thought. What if one thing leading to another was actually the Holy Spirit guiding you?

~Joel Malm, "Connecting the Dots"

Our Holy Spirit hearing aids have been getting lots of practice lately. That "still, small voice" in 1 Kings 19:12, the whisper that often seems like a coincidence, has been changing our plans and giving us some sweet opportunities we would have missed. Like when my cousin is working in our home town and gets finished a little early? A quick Greek lesson along with a cup of decaf before my hubby had a meeting and my cello students showed up.

Or that friend who had a birthday, but we were struggling to align our schedules? Whisper, whisper...how bout showing up at the coffee shop when it opens its doors, then going for an early Saturday morning walk, coffee in hand, to share your hearts? Worth getting up.

Marriage Monday

We've started getting the question, "What are you two going to do for Valentine's Day?"

One of my favorite things about our marriage is that we don't celebrate big on special days, because we celebrate small every day. My hubby tells me he loves me in hundreds of small ways throughout the day. He nails all five of the love languages by doing things like warming up the van before I leave for the gym, giving me hugs and kisses on his lunch break, and going on walks with me.

So when Valentine's Day rolls around, we are free to whip up some cookie dough to create culinary heart-shaped masterpieces with preschoolers. We can use our energy to distribute cards and goodies to widows and widowers. And we can pull out the tiny heart waffle maker to invite some singles to share "breakfast for dinner" with us. 

 

Dialed In

While Katherine has youth orchestra rehearsal in Little Rock, we try to squeeze in a hike before the sun goes down. During the winter, our options are limited. But as the days have more sunshine, we can go to places that are a little bit farther away or have longer trails. Our most recent adventure was on the "Dialed In" trail at Lake Nixon.

I kid you not, we found a nonworking rotary payphone in the middle of the hike. And now we know why the trail is named Dialed In :)

After several weeks of missing our coffee and calendar date, one because of snow and one because we were out of town, we used our gift cards to get some steaming coffee while we realigned our calendars. I always forget just how important this weekly ritual is to our marriage!

 

Yay for community!

"We sometimes treat community like the safety net under a tightrope walker: it's a good thing to have in case something bad happens. But the Bible talks about community as if it's the tightrope itself: you can't move forward without it." ~The Gospel Centered Community

I can't imagine life without the tightrope of my community. These orch dorks were raising money for a mission trip to the Czech Republic this summer. One of our beloved hometown restaurants, Stoby's, is closed on Sundays. But they open their doors for local groups to fundraise with a pancake and sausage breakfast. We bought tickets and went to breakfast after church to root for them! 

Another morning this week, I met my friend Lauren at the park to take advatage of an unseasonably warm day. Two years ago, in this same park, I confided to her that I was about to have a biopsy. She has stood by me through the worst of the cancer and its treatments, bringing me tea and sharing her joyful children to encourage me.

What I'm reading lately...

I was introduced to Jon Acuff and his books by the 1000 Hours Outside podcast. "Soundtracks" is the first of his audiobooks to which I've listened, and it is both hilarious and practical. Acuff narated his own book, which makes the delivery even better. I just finished listening to this one, and now I've borrowed the teen version, "Your New Playlist", that Acuff wrote with his two daughters. We're planning to add a hard copy of Soundtracks to our library.

After all these years, how did I not know that Madeleine L'Engle wrote such sweet middle grade novels? I picked up "Meet the Austins", the first book in the Austin Family Chronicles, at the suggestion of the Read Aloud Revival booklist, "Books About Kids in Big Families" (so much LOVE for all the booklists on this website!).

This book reminds me of other favorites like the Melendy Quartet by Elizabeth Enright and the books about the Pye and Moffat families by Eleanor Estes. Maybe it's because they all were written post WW2 when optimism and positivity were high, maybe it's because music is mentioned often, maybe it's because the families are close knit and work through their conflicts in a safe environment. Whatever the reason, they make me smile.

Marriage Monday

 "For Christ's love compels us..." [2 Cor. 5:14] The Greek word Paul used is synechei, which carries the sense of God's love wrapping around you but then squeezing you in a way that pushes you out - like squeezing a tube of toothpaste. God's love surrounding you pushes you to become all you were made to be. ~Joel Malm, "Connecting the Dots"

The above quote may seem strange for a "Marriage Monday" post, but more and more, I'm convinced that marriage is a huge part of God's love that pushes us to become all we "were made to be". The unexpected things that pop up, the different personalities trying to work together, those things are the circumstances God uses to squeeze and push us to be more like Him.

Our "day 4" of 40 dates found us attempting to learn a little bit of history, but the Potts Inn museum we had hoped to enjoy was closed (despite the posted hours saying they were open!). 

We walked around and read the signs surrounding this beautiful old tavern on the Butterfield Overland Mail and stagecoach route. I hadn't realized this route wound around the Arkansas River (which makes sense to connect with steamboat traffic) and the ridges that dot this area, taking travellers through our home town.

Another sign informed readers about this knarled old tree and some of the things that have happened in America since it began to grow.

The outbuildings were fascinating, too, and we hope to go back again, but this time when the museum is open for tours :)

After we discovered the museum was closed, we drove just a few minutes to hike the short and sweet Caudle Overlook Trail along the Arkansas River.

With all the rain we've had recently, the streams were flowing quickly and little waterfalls abounded. 

And we worked up an appetite!

Kat Robinson's books featuring Arkansas food laced with history haven't steered us wrong yet. We stopped at the Blue Diamond Cafe on the way home to try their famous Monte Cristo.

That sandwich did not disappoint. It tasted like something straight out of the county fair, but loaded with ham and warm, gooey cheese. Magnificent.

Service was stellar, and when we ordered one dessert with two spoons, our waitress cut the brownie in two and gave us a generous scoop of ice cream drizzled with sea salt caramel. What a treat!

Sweet Sabbath

 One of the most faith-filled decisions we can make is to intentionally create margin in our lives....Choosing not to overload our finances, energy, and time is essentially an act of faith, saying, "I know there's so much good out there that I'm going to leave space for when it gets here."

~Joel Malm, "Keep It Light: The Freedom of Priorities in Life, Work, and Love"

The Conard family has been blessing our socks off since we met them in Memphis in 2004. Gayly has visited us in the village (and is still a good friend, quite the miracle after what we put her through!). The family has helped with kitchen renovations, stateside vehicles, family pictures, and gift cards to kickstart us after trans-Pacific moves. We love to cook together and celebrate birthdays (wives in May, husbands in October) together.

So when the unexpected opportunity arose for Sean to drop by and spend some time with us in the middle of his road trip, we were honored. The Sunday afternoon felt like an extension of our church service as we drank coffee and recounted God's faithfulness in our kids' lives. And when I followed the guys out the back door as they walked to the driveway, I found Sean praying for my hubby. Humility and generousity characterize this entire family. I'm so grateful for the margin we had built into a day of rest and for the refreshing visit that resulted.

Soup

When I checked out snow books, this little gem of a book showed up. "Everybody Serves Soup" checked all of the boxes. The author took my favorite topics, food and community, and wrapped them up into a snow filled story. (Our library doesn't have her other books, "Everybody Brings Noodles", "Everybody Bakes Bread", and "Everybody Cooks Rice", but I can't wait to read them, too!)

We're eating a lot of soups and stews these days. The Indian curried cauliflower and lentil soup is on repeat. White chicken chili is another favorite, and it's a great recipe to have available for our friends who have alpha-gal syndrome. One of my favorite things to do is to host people for chili and games (like Goat Lords), then serve both a red meat chili and the white chili with all the toppings.

Choate Chili

Adapted from the Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook

1/2 lb ground beef

1 cup chopped onion

1 cup chopped bell pepper

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 16 oz can of petite diced tomatoes

1 1/2 cups dark red kidney beans

6 oz tomato paste

6 oz water (just fill the tomato paste can)

1 Tbsp chili powder

1 tsp smoked paprika

1 tsp garlic salt

In a large saucepan, cook ground beef, onion, green pepper, and garlic till meat is brown. Stir in tomatoes, kidney beans, tomato paste, chili powder, basil, and garlic salt. Dump it all in a slow cooker, turn it on high for 3-4 hours.