Day 5 of 40

"If you focus on how you were victimized, you brain will immediately shift into survival mode. You'll be on edge, constantly watching for threats to your security, connection, and sense of control. You'll eventually get angry, bitter, and resentful.... When you choose to see yourself as a willing participant in an adventure -- rather than a victim -- your brain chemistry actually begins to shift. Your mind goes into exploration and learning mode rather than fear.... You're willingly confronting what is ahead as an adventure." ~Joel Malm, Connecting the Dots

Thanks to Aaron's willingness to donate plasma, we were able to get away last weekend and put together a little marriage retreat. The last time we took a few days together, everything went so smoothly. This time, I had many opportunities to practice seeing myself as a "willing participant in an adventure". Our first stop was at Daily Grind Coffee, a creative combo of gym and coffee shop. Then things began to get challenging for me. It's no secret that my husband and I have very different personalities. No matter which personality test we take (and we like ALL of them!), we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. He can flex and thrive seemingly without any effort.

We took a chance on a cheaper Air BnB. Although it had a beautiful vintage silverplated iced tea spoon in the drawer which made me smile, that was the only thing that made me smile about our accommodations. The videos we chose to watch to enrich our time together? Meh. We were left with a bad taste in our mouths about those, too. We didn't sleep well, and it began to look like our time away together was going to be a big letdown. I had to work really hard to go into "exploration and learning mode" and fight disappointment. Because I like to make sure my environment supports flourishing, we always bring our own food to keep our bodies happy and a fan for white noise to encourage good sleep. But nothing was kicking my heart and mind into adventure and trust the Lord mode.

To be continued...