Trees and a Proposalvery

The trees in our backyard needed more than just trimming. We had some friends and neighbors come to our rescue with the smaller trees that needed to come down, but I had been saving my cello money for a while so we could hire the big guns.

Voegele Tree Service showed up early and stayed all day. They took down two big trees and trimmed so very many branches to keep our backyard safe and to help us steward our yard well. The garden will have more sunshine this summer!

After they left, I took a look at a slab from one of the big trees, and I was extra grateful that we finally had the tree taken down. I LOVE big old trees, the shade they provide, the home for animals the trees create, and the many fun things kids can do (like climb and make a reading nook in the branches). But I also want to provide a safe haven for my people.

The trees gave us another gift, plenty of firewood for the firepit on the back patio. We enjoyed some of the half heifer we bought from Richardson Farms. The t-bone steaks made a perfect meal to celebrate our proposal-versary around the fire.

 

Advent Whimsey

I know Advent is a time for serious reflection, but it is also a time of whimsey and quiet joy. While we walked on a nearby trail, Aaron took the time to snag some mistletoe for our doorframe.

Saint Lucia's Day fell on a Saturday, when teenagers like to sleep late. So I was thrilled to be the one who got to make a special breakfast and deliver to Katherine in bed. I decided to forgo the flaming candle wreath on my head :-)

Katherine used her delicate art skills once again to paint strings of lights on my fingernails. She continues to amaze me with her creativity.

 

Marriage Monday - Days 21 & 22

So we obviously didn't hit our "Forty Dates for Forty Years" goal this year. But we DID have a lot of fun trying new adventures together. 

In November, we snuck away to explore some trails at Queen Wilhelmina State Park. We had never been to this part of Arkansas before, and its beauty astounded me.

The slow mornings at the Air BnB were exactly what we needed to promote conversations and sharing our hearts.

The autumn colors and cooler temperatures rejeuvenated our souls.

We've recently discovered "The Art of Spousing" podcast, and we're enjoying perusing the resources they offer for our marriage toolbox.

Hiking along the Ouachita Trail for the first time, we decided that we need to come back more often.

The Friends of the Ouachita Trail do a phenomenal job of maintaining the trail in addition to offering shelters and information for hikers. 10/10 would recommend!

 

Middle-Aged Romance

"In both marriage and life with God, it's the constraint of commitment that will create space for love to mature and real transformation to occur. We often chafe against it, but in the end, like a caterpillars in the constraints of pupae, it is where are transformed into butterflies -- entirely new creatures of beauty." 

~John Mark Comer, "Practicing the Way"

The day after we helped our favorite farmer, breakfast frittata was the obvious choice because our dining room table was absolutely covered in bell peppers. My kind husband served me breakfast on the porch, and we enjoyed a slow start to the day.

Romance looks a little bit different than it used to. On this day, it looked like using a coffee coupon for "BOGO" as we hit the road to drive to a Drewry Farms for our last opportunity to grab several varieties of apples. We came home with Arkansas Black, Fuji, and Pink Lady to dehydrate, cook into apple butter, and eat plain.

When we returned, the afternoon was cool and rainy, perfect for beginning to chop and freeze all those beautiful peppers. Even though we gave away many of them, we still had a table full! So we utilized our library's free video website, and watched one of the BBC originals of Miss Marple, starring Joan Hickson. The Saturday was well spent, reconnecting, accomplishing much, and very much kindling the middle-aged romance.

The Quiet Soundtrack of Joy

"You could argue that joy is the defining feature of a life organized around God. But it's rarely the explosive happiness of an emotional high, dramatic yet fickle and fleeting. It's more like a quiet undercurrent that slowly accumulates at the base of your soul, increasingly welling up like a soft melody that over the years becomes the soundtrack of your life." 

~John Mark Comer, "Practicing the Way"

This industrious orb weaver made a home in the azaleas by our front porch. Every morning when I go out to sit on the swing with my coffee, I see this beauty.

Our spaghetti squash are blooming and thriving, but so far the only flowers are male. I realize that is the normal way that squash blooms work, but I planted the seeds late this year. We may not get any fruit before the first freeze!

We turned an eye appointment into a little date recently. I love living close to downtown, so many places and events are within walking distance.

Walking the mile to and from the eye doctor allowed us to chat and share our hearts in the middle of the day, a time when we usually are busy with our own endeavors. What a sweet way to reconnect in normal, everyday life. This "quiet undercurrent" of joy is a rich treasure.

Conway Coffee Crawl - Days 19 & 20

Remember that Conway Coffee Crawl we began in August? We realized that we had less than 24 hours to complete the card, and we still needed to visit eight different places. So after supper, I pulled out the handy dandy post-it notes and listed each place with their hours of operation. I discovered that we could still get to two of them that evening. 

My orchestra boosters' meeting had been canceled, giving me more time than originally anticipated. Aaron and I struck off for one of the coffee shops, where I thoroughly enjoyed the pecan flat white, decaf, half sweet, extra hot (I have become that person!). After I went to bed, Katherine and Aaron drove to the other shop that stayed open till 10:00. They did school, so their time together wasn't quite as fun, but coffee does always make things better!

The next day was a Tuesday, which is the day Aaron has set aside to work with the Lavukaleve translation team late into the night. We had some flexibility that morning with a later start to the work day. The two of us enjoyed some crepes for breakfast, and got more stamps on our coffee crawl card. The day began to feel like the Amazing Race! We recruited our moms to help, Katherine and my mom went to the cat cafe together. Aaron and his mom took advantage of his upcoming birthday to have a birthday coffee together.

We had to be finished no later than 3:00 because I had cello students arriving and Aaron had a Zoom call waiting for him. We did it! One of our kids asked about a prize, we should be getting a t-shirt for our fully stamped cards. Mostly we just enjoyed each other's company and supported our community and strenghthened our marriage and drank a lot of coffee (thanks to Aaron donating plasma towards our "fun money"!).

Pause

"It is a sacred act to pause. And it has become a radical act to stop, or even to slow down."

 ~Kristi Nelson, "Wake Up Grateful"

We settled into a routine following all of the birthday celebrations. I'm grateful that we usually have the freedom to slow down at times during the day, to press the "pause button" a little bit. In the days after Katherine's birthday, that looked like disposing of the balloons and singing with a helium induced soprano voice.

I also paused when hanging out clothes to dry and spotted what my phone identified as a sickle-bearing bush cricket, more commonly known as a katydid. This little critter was hanging out in my long beans.

Sometimes, instead of pausing, I get stopped in my tracks. Like when I walked out to ride my bike one morning. I found freshly replaced batteries in my headlight, safety gear laid out neatly, and my tires aired up and ready to roll. This is true love. 

 

Day 18 of 40

We earned another stamp on our Coffee Crawl card the weekend after Aaron returned. 

As we drove through and picked up our drinks, the lady at the window said, "Two hot?" but what we heard was "Too hot!" We looked at each other and laughed because we were thinking the same thing :) I'm thankful to be married to a guy who delights me more and more every day. Middle-aged marriage is a beautiful thing.

We drove to Drewry Farms to pick up bushels of sweet potatoes, apples, and winter squash. I had checked the weather before we left, but we were surprised by rain while we were at the farm. The plan was to take a nice long hike together, but the much needed rain changed our plans.

We chose to take the Middle Fork Road trail at the Bayou Bluff Recreation Area, part of the Ozark-St. Francis National Forest. Aaron had camped at this little gem of a park in the past.

This dirt road gave us an easier trail to follow in the rain as we followed the bayou and listened to the peaceful sound of the raindrops. Our small umbrella helped protect us as we snuggled underneath and thought of one of our favorite songs, Bus Stop.

Marriage Monday - Days 16 and 17 of 40

I Take Master Card (Charge Your Love to Me)

by Nikki Giovanni

I've heard all the stories

'bout how you don't deserve me

'cause I'm so strong and beautiful and wonderful and you could

never live up to what you know I should have but I just want to let you know:

I take Master Card

You can love me as much as your heart can stand

then put the rest on

account and pay the interest 

each month until we get this settled

You see we modern women do comprehend

that we deserve a whole lot more

than what is normally being offered but we are trying

to get aligned with the modern world

So baby you can love me all

you like 'cause you're pre-approved 

and you don't have to sign on 

the bottom line

Our hometown recently began a "coffee crawl" with cards to get stamped at each of the local coffee shops. This is the perfect way to give us some dating direction before Aaron goes back to the Solomon Islands next week. We are having so much fun on these little mini dates!

Day 15 of 40

We knew we would be on the road more today as we meandered our way home, so we intentionally stopped at the Fred Berry Conservation Education Center to hike a trail. The center is closed on the weekends, but the trails are open.

We hiked along most of the Creek Bluff Trail, it was underwhelming and very hot with little shade, but we enjoyed the opportunity to stretch our legs.

Our next stop was Bull Shoals Caverns, a more intimate experience than other caverns we have visited.

No huge rooms, just small spaces where we could have touched the walls on both sides. But we didn't, because living caves don't like human touch :)

On the way home, we took another stretch break. This time we stopped in the little town of Leslie, which is making a huge effort to revitalize its cute downtown.

We found some beautiful hand carved nativity sets and a gorgeous Noah's Ark, hand carved by Charlie's Dream. I may have to add these to my grandparent stash for the future!

We always take food with us so we don't have to spend money to eat out on trips like this. But the last place we visited was the new ice cream shop downtown: Buffalo River's Lickety Split. Definitely get the ice cream nachos. The "chips" are broken pieces of waffle cones, what a great idea to steward your resources well! The scoops are huge enough that we share the nachos and both ate plenty. What a treat!

Days 13 and 14 of 40

We are way behind on our 40 days of dates for 40 years of friendship, but that's okay. Our friendship and our marriage are still going strong! For our anniversary, we decided to go back to one of our favorite cabins in the middle of nowhere: Beit Shalom.

On the way to the cabin Friday afternoon, we stopped at one of my favorite roadside stands and bought several watermelons. They often have cantaloupe and corn and tomatoes and allllll of the local delicious summer produce. I read "The Sabbath Way" out loud and we discussed as Aaron chauffeured. 

Saturday morning began with anniversary sourdough discard blueberry muffins gifted by my favorite farmer. I watched the mist slowly move down the valley. A slow, peaceful start to the day was exactly what we needed.

Due to some family generosity, we made a last minute decision to float the middle Buffalo River. We had never floated this section before.

The river was full of people and music, and I enjoyed my husband using his incredible skills he has honed from paddling a dugout canoe around the Pacific Ocean. I hardly had to pick up a paddle!

I just soaked up the view and the love flowing behind me as Aaron deftly steered and navigated the busy river. 

"Delight is both a trailhead for and a signpost along the Sabbath way. If a Sabbath practice is whittled down to its irreducible core, what remains is largely a commitment to making room in one's life to recover a sense of delight." ~Travis West

We pulled into this shallow cave for lunch and chatted while we pulled out veggies and hummus to go along with our cold brats from Shaky K Farm. I lost all sense of time and didn't even check my watch. One of the concepts in "The Sabbath Way" is that time slows down or even ceases to exist when we are truly resting. I haven't experienced that in a very long time. My brain naturally runs to the next thing on my to-do list. This day was full of delight and joy and connection, truly a much needed day of rest and play.

Days 11 and 12 of 40

We're not making much headway on our 40 days of friendship goals, but we are definitely having fun together and we are thankful for all of the opportunities to love our community with our time and energy.

Day 11 was a movie, which is a rarity for us, Aaron saw that "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" was being shown again in theaters, so he asked me out on a date :) Day 12 was our impromptu breakfast date on Father's Day.

 

Marriage Monday

"People need to know we have weaknesses. Nobody wins when we pretend we have it all together. Heart-focused communities are characterized by transparency. The strong members of the group use their strength to help the weak, not ignore them. If people learn that sharing their weakness will get them in trouble, they learn to wear masks and hide what they fear is unacceptable to others. This is a big problem because people who conceal their weaknesses can't grow." 

~Marcus Warner, "A Deeper Walk"

At 6:45 a.m. on Father's Day, I got a wild and crazy idea. I love my routines and schedules, spontaneous outings are not really my things. But I had a coupon for a local restaurant we hadn't tried, and I thought walking to breakfast sounded like a great way to celebrate this guy.

We quickly donned our walking shoes and walked the 1 1/4 miles downtown. Our waiter was fabulous and helped us pick food that delighted our taste buds. We even had plenty of time to walk back home and get ready for church.

 

On the way home, Aaron brought up a recent conversation that hadn't gone so well. He gently and thoughtfully pointed out some areas for growth in my life. And he was exactly right. 

The above quote was written about communities, but I think it applies to marriages, too. Transparency and safety with each other provide a foundation for growth. We can share our weaknesses with each other instead of trying to hide them. Mine have a way of popping to the surface unannounced. I just discovered "The Art of Spousing" on social media and Apple Podcasts, and I'm looking forward to exploring their topics and resources more. Another tool to go into our marriage toolbox! 

Health Update

My one-year checkups are all complete! Just a little different from my March appointments, this round consisted of a mammogram, a visit with my surgeon's office, bloodwork, a visit with my oncologist, and a lymphedema scan. I took flowers to my little hometown branch where I've received most of my treatments.

The wait to see my oncologist was longer than usual. I always take snacks and a book, but after two hours, I was hungry and tired of sitting. I started walking laps around the parking lot and eventually asked Aaron if he would bring me some food on his lunch break. He thoughtfully cut up my pork chop and included a love note on a napkin. That's real romance!

All scans are clear, I'm gaining muscle, and bloodwork is holding steady. My oncologist is going to look into a few things to help remedy my fatigue, and I'll make the next round of appointments in three months.