Feeling weak and unable...
"So, feeling weak and unable is a good thing. The thing that keeps each of us from growing is not our assessment of weakness. The grace of God is greater than any weakness we may experience. No, the thing that keeps us from growing is our delusion of strength. When we think we are righteous and strong, we do not seek the help that God so tenderly and faithfully offers."
~Paul David Tripp
The reminder that feeling weak and unable actually drives me to seek the help God offers started my day off on the right foot this morning. I definitely fall in the "weak and unable" category as the packing, sorting, form filling-out, list making, college preparations, and goodbyes intensify. Some things that are helping me (in addition to seeking God's presence, promises, and provision) are looking for things to be grateful for now, things like:
-the way the sunshine streams in through our western windows and highlights my beautiful daughter working a puzzle while I read aloud "The Year of Miss Agnes"
-new recipes like this apple pomegranate salad
-that we have an attic which we can use for "packing central" instead of the living room. At the end of the day, we can just close the attic access and have a little bit of peace and order below.
-watching Benjamin interview my grandmother last week and hearing her share stories from her life. The theme of God's faithfulness came up over and over and over again.
Something else that helps me when I'm not feeling very brave is to remind myself that I'm not living for a kingdom of one. I'm living for God's kingdom. And you know those hashtags that say #firstworldproblems? They are so true. My neighbors in the Solomon Islands don't have as many options as I have.
When I start thinking about how hot it is in the village, I remind myself that I have a little twelve-volt fan to cool me at night. My lovely neighbors have to swelter. When I think about how much infection and physical illness and skin infections and lice plague me and my family, I remind myself that I have antibiotic ointment and soap and medicated powder and medicine. My sweet neighbors have to suffer (and we share as much of our meds as we can!). When I think about how spiritually isolated and weary I feel so often, I remind myself that I have God's Word in my own heart language. My neighbors don't. And that gives me strength to go back to a hard place and to navigate moving. Again.